When in a relationship..

When in relationship..

Attachments! Emotions! Relationships! Expectations! Comparisons! Pessimism! Isolation! End!

There is a phase of every individual life of a lover when you feel that your entire world exists due to a single person. You give your entire being to that one person. Your world revolves around his existence. You think or perhaps like to believe that the moments of togetherness would never come to an end. Your try to be your best. You like everything that the person says or does. He becomes the sole purpose of your existence. You go out of your way for just few moments with that person. You are ready to give away your self-respect, your truth and reasoning capacity. You think that he is the only person who understands you. The companionship which you share is the one with utmost happiness. Also, it makes you believe that you are the only one who would understand him. You like to do things which would please him. Every event, story or happening you tend to relate to this person. You tend to laugh more, care more, ask more, tell more, doubt more, .. You never want it to end. You tend to identify yourself with every single thing of his. You want to shun any thought which would be against him. You don't want to think beyond what seems forever. You just don't want to accept any reality which would indicate that this would not last forever. You tend to justify your thoughts and give reasons to everything. That is when ..You stop thinking! Once your own void of emotions is filled, you seek in for space.You want return on investment of your time of togetherness. You would want some change in relatioship. You now want him to give reasoning for not putting up with your expectations. You question more, doubt more.. That is when .. You start expecting! You would start questioning yourself. Insecurity will creep in. You will compare your relationship with others around you. You will then give way to rifts. You would start to feel that are you being used? You would doubt the very existence of your relationship. You would think if he ever really understood you. Did you ever really understand or know him? You will seek for answers to your self, and then to him and when no response would be received you would think that he no longer cares. You would start seeking answers to all your doubts from people around you. That is when the bond is broken to give vent to external factors. That is when ..You would stop caring! You would still not want to let go. After all you aren't a fool, you think! You would not accept at any cost that who you had chosen was the same person with whom you no longer feel the bond of togetherness. You would want to hold on. You would want to blame anyone but yourself. You would then start finding excuses and justification to give your heart solace. You would also blame him for not being responsive. That is when.. You start being negative! You would try to fool yourself that you are strong. You will try to reach out to outer world which was for so long isolated. You would think that whatever is happening with you is not fair and is happening only with you. You will think that no one else understands you and its of no use searching for companionship outside.Any positive or sincere advice too will be considered by you as a conspiracy against you.You would then start imagining that despite all that has happened, which is certainly blown up in your mind, you are being strong. You will have a feeling that you are doing a favor to the rest of the world by being strong. You will start disliking others. You will relate everything around to your past.. That is when.. You start being self centered! You think that you have tried enough on your part to come out of the major tragedy of your life, but the world conspired against you and so you had to give up. You would start questioning as to why should you be good to others when they don't care. This would reflect in your job and friendship. You would radiate negative vibes to people around. Your talks would always be negative and pessimistic. You approach towards things would be more of a loser. That is when .. you start isolation! You would start being alone. You would start relating to all sob stories. Once in a while the memories of past would haunt you and you would be bitter to the core. Anger would then take place of questions. You would more so be angry at yourself. You would be angry at everyone, but only to find that no one still cares about your anger, or anything for that matter. Your anger would eventually subside. You would have no more patience with anyone. You would no longer try to reach out. You will create your own shell. You will break!! That is when.. You lose hope!! Hope gone means that the world has ended! If you lose hope on Life, the purpose is defeated. Before this happens, at any stage prior to it, only a listening ear, a sincere advice, a positive attitude, a silent companionship, a assurance, a ray of hope would change the end!! Every youth today is more or less going through one of these phases. Only that you don't realize it at times.. Each one is bound to eventually lose Hope, if not given a helping hand. This might be from a complete stranger, a friend, an acquaintance, a family. All that is required is the assurance that someone still cares. Assurance that there is more to life. A hug, a smile, a hand squeeze.. anything! A companionship! It tears me apart to see people going through any of it! People seek for advise to anyone in the reach. I doubt if people around are really interested. Everyone has a hidden motive behind helping the other person. It seems to me more like, there is an appraisal to be done by the Almighty and everyone being aware of this are gathering points for the same. All good deeds seem to be a means to this or the hope of being reciprocated. People would not speak the truth or give sincere advice with the fear that the image would be spoiled, but the justification which they would like to give is that they care! To hell with such cares. People will lie due to the weakness and inability to speak the truth and then they will very well justify it in the name of for-the-sake-of-the-other. People will do certain no-so-correct things hoping and assuming that no one would question them. But when questioned they would either deny it or justify it by yet another reason! I seriously, at times wonder at the plight of such people! Self respect is a rare feeling. Self consciousness is even rarer! I wish to help out in the little possible way I can to maximum people I can reach out to. I sincerely wish that we come into this world for one time and we should leave it a shade better than what we got. Reaching out to people without expecting returns. Reaching out in a way which would not call for attention. Reaching out in ways that would really mean the world to someone. Reaching out in ways that would change the eventuality of ones situation from negative to positive. People want to find the easy way out. Introspection is lacking and we try and ape thinking. We have lost our capacities to think for ourselves. We don't want to! We want delegation in that too. No one really seem to be happy. And those who vouch to seem to be asking for returns for the same. Before we do a good job, somewhere we have the expectation of return. No one any longer believes in what Krishna said to Arjun "Fal ki apeksha na karo, karm karte jaao". People would reason this by saying that in today;s world one has to. But then I ask why? Can't you be confident about your existence and sincerity? Why does other's ability become your inability? I question one and all,.. are we living for ourselves or is it a competition with other fellow humans! For once can we be ourselves and not compare???